Thursday 13 March 2014

You Know You’re A Blogger When… by Ellen Arnison



The other morning I found myself standing at the kitchen sink. Three inches of cold scummy water glinted in the sunlight. Congealed grease had set like the skin of a lizard stretched between waterlogged crust islands.

So, what was my instinctive response?

Tip the nasty mess out and reclaim shiny stainless steel with hot blasts and soap? Or leave it to answer the siren call of inbox?

No. Neither.

Instead I was compelled to find my camera to capture the interesting colours on the slime. Yes, blogging about how pretty my slutty housekeeping was turning out was more tempting than restoring some hygiene or doing some paid work.

I realise that it's probably only one of things you notice happening to you after you start a blog.

Here are some others

You know you're a blogger when you tell the entire internet things your husband doesn't even know.

You know you're a blogger when your husband communicates in search terms he knows you'll find on analytics.

You know you're a blogger when you start telling friends what you've been doing and they say: "Yes, I already know, we read it on your blog."

You know you're a blogger when you regularly get invited to events hundreds of miles away that you probably wouldn't fancy going to if they were next door.

You know you're a blogger when the postie thinks you have a serious retail therapy habit during review season.

You know you're a blogger when the up-side of something going wrong is juicy blog fodder.

You know you’re a blogger when you’re hungry but you have to take a photo of your lunch before you can eat it.

You know you’re a blogger when your wardrobe – and your children’s – contain an increasing number of items you’ve reviewed.

You know you’re a blogger when something hasn't officially happened until you blog about it.

You know you’re a blogger when a sense of calm descends when you press ‘publish’.

You know you’re a blogger when you ask your husband to take a photo of your tattoo and he doesn’t even ask why.

Ellen Arnison is a freelance journalist, blogger and writer. To find out more, visit ellenarnison.com and bloggingworks.co.uk. Follow Ellen on Twitter @Ellen27.