Sometimes clichéd feelings are the most
universal feelings. That is to say, they become clichés because they are felt by so many people in so many different
situations, though each has sort of a common theme. And so I have little
reservations in discussing my formative years as a typical weirdo. I was
extremely rebellious yet didn’t have many friends to speak of, and have now
figured out that this was due to my intense feelings of being misunderstood. I mean, who hasn’t felt like
the world looks at you as though you have antenna sprouting out of your head?
These feelings are extremely isolating! If
you are a person who has never identified with mainstream, “normal” society,
it can be difficult to find a community in which you can meet like-minded folks
and appreciate art that resonates within you. In my late teens I discovered the
goth scene and suddenly it was like, WOW! I have discovered my place in the
world! I quickly became obsessed with bands like Joy Division and the Sisters
of Mercy and spent many drunken Saturday nights at the local goth bar, stomping
away to EBM. And channeling my bitterness through wearing black became really
therapeutic for me, and not entirely in
some youthful reflexive response of “inner rage”, but more in the sense that
for the first time, I was expressing myself through getting dressed. I felt powerful. Walking down in the street in
an all-black outfit makes one look innately unapproachable except to other
goths, and seeing one another in public felt like a secret handshake. I
relished in using my appearance to feel like a part of a community. However
primitive my emotions may have been, subculture hugely influenced what my
identity would become.
These days I no longer have an overwhelming
teenage desire to be understood. But I still retain that empowerment I derived
from wearing weird things, and infused with my burgeoning feminism with
romantic goth subculture. Surely there must be others who feel the way about
clothes that I do!, I thought, and considered starting a blog. I started Latterstyle
after the initial crop of bloggers began attaining success. Luckily I was
approaching my mid-twenties when I started, and was just old enough to ignore
the allure of Blog Fame and just blog simply because I enjoyed it. My only goals
were to improve my writing and meet cool people. If I’d begun my blog when I was
younger I think I might have gotten sucked into the blog world’s rat race,
which can often feel like a desperate climb for fame and money. Although I am
older than most bloggers I am friendly with, it is a relief that I began this
adventure with my life being already somewhat established. It’s easy to lose
ones identity in a creative project, but by approaching my blog with zero
expectations, I don’t set myself up for any disappointment.
It’s really rewarding to be able to say
that I’ve achieved the goals I had in mind when I began blogging! I have met wonderful people and my writing
has improved tremendously, simply by virtue of doing it more often. And perhaps
most gratifying of all, I have discovered people who understand me and who’ve
struggled with the same feelings that I have. Ironically, as an adult I’ve
grown out of a lot of those emotions! But honestly, they never really go away,
they just change as you progress through adulthood, and perhaps wane in
importance. Some people are just naturally inclined to feel different from
everyone else, and that universal idea is why I blog. There is nothing more
comforting to the human soul than discovering people who share your feelings!
Meagan Frenette
It’s nearly impossible to find experienced people in this particular subject, however, you sound like you know what you’re talking about! Thanks
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