Writer and Leading Intuitive Coach Annie Ashdown blogs on Improving Women's Confidence...

Without any doubt, self confidence is the key to success. Our perception of ourselves has an enormous impact on how others perceive us. The more self confidence we have the more likely we are to succeed. If we are not confident, how can we thrive? Sure, not everyone wants to be a worldwide leader, but having self confidence means being a leader in our own world. It determines how many of our goals we achieve and has an enormous impact on our happiness.

I can't teach anyone a shortcut to self confidence, because there is no short cut to any place worth going. You have to feel worthy of investing your time and energy into making the changes. Recent studies in USA show 70% of how we behave and feel is down to skills we have learnt rather than inherited biological make up. I cannot change you, nor am I trying to, but I can certainly help you make smart choices with your words, thoughts and actions. However, you are the one who has to implement the changes.

Self confident people have:

· Motivation.

· A flexible approach.

· A willingness to take risks.

· An eagerness to stretch themselves.

· A positive mind set.

· A clear direction in life.

· Clarity around their values.

· An acceptance of their weak points and faults.

· No interest in what others think of them.

· A way of looking the part but not showing off.

· A strong self belief.

· Excellent interpersonal skills.

· A belief in their skills and talents.

· Discipline.

· A heightened self awareness.

· An ability to be consistent and persistent.

· Self approval.

· Credibility.

· Self responsibility.

· Constant interest in self mastery.

· Self acceptance.

· Humility.

Self Confidence is not only critical to our performance in the work force but also an essential component to create and maintain healthy relationships. Possessing self confidence means we are powerful, engaging and inspiring as we are at ease with ourselves. We are proactive, rather than defensive and can laugh at ourselves. Self confident people glide towards a goal or an action with a sense of purpose, believing anything is possible. It doesn’t matter if we are a student or a Chairman; everything improves in our wealth, health, family, work life, and personal relationships when we have self confidence. Until our confidence is really high and we no longer allow others negativity to affect us, we need to avoid negative, toxic people at all costs. We must only hang with people who champion, encourage and support us in our visions and dreams.

I want you to promise yourself from today you will dispel any irrational beliefs and all lies your head tells that you that you are not good enough. Discard all negative self talk and replace it with positive affirmations. Stop blaming everyone else and start identifying your self defeating behaviours and start taking responsibility for your choices and actions. Start now by reframing and rewriting old scripts. I am certainly not advocating you change your personality as that’s what makes you unique, but I am suggesting you let go of your unhealthy traits and replace them with positive elements. Start now with redefining yourself by releasing self destructive, self defeating behaviours.

Rise above any criticism, stay true to yourself and remind yourself constantly of all your achievements. Say a thousand times a day “I can and I will”. Keep your visions huge, and your feet firmly on the ground. Building confidence means finding new solutions and ideas, allowing creativity and awareness in and taking time out to press the pause button and re evaluate your visions, dreams and goals. Connect your dreams with whatever makes your soul sing and do not allow anyone to diminish you - ever. Here’s the thing, the cost of not standing up for ourselves comes at a high price, as every time we neglect ourselves by not asking for what we want and need, or we don’t confront others who are disrespecting us we chip away at our self respect, self confidence, self belief and self esteem.

MY TOP TIPS

1 To deactivate the internal negative voice, imagine a volume control 0 -10, and turn it down to 0.

2 Ask yourself what’s the worst that can happen if you take an informed risk?

3 The mind doesn’t know the difference between fantasy & reality, so when you fear doing something for the first time, close your eyes and imagine succeeding.

4 Read biographies of successful people and model their behaviours, attitudes and beliefs.

5 Do not be afraid to ask, ask, ask, ask, ask for what you want and need, and remember “some will, some, wont, so what”, move on.

6 Write out 5 of your attributes every day for 30 days.

Always remember empowerment comes from you remembering to believe in yourself, so get out and strut your stuff!

Annie Ashdown is founder of The Self Confidence Centre in Harley Street, one of the UK’s leading coaches specializing in intuitive coaching, emotional freedom technique, theta healing and is a master clinical hypnotherapist and licensed Louise Hay teacher. Annie’s debut book Doormat Nor Diva Be was launched Sept 2011. Her second book on Self Confidence is due out Autumn 2012.

For more info on Annie visit www.selfconfidencecentre.com